So I had my appointment with #TheCardioGod Dr. Hamed Aryafar today. The heavens opened up when he walked in the room.. (You will see this when viewing the video I will add in this place when it finishes uploading…)
It was, as usual, extremely informative and life-altering! I was told about what to expect, whether I can still drive, among other things. All in all, a positive result.
I then went to #TheHuddle to my home group (#AA) and lead today’s meeting. I haven’t been able to have this grateful task in a while due to me usually having to leave a bit early due to a doctors appointment and/or liver transplant support group. For this day, I am honored and humbled. I spoke of matters of the heart and understanding in the program. By matters of the heart, I don’t mean love and men or women, etc., I meant love and understand of all things while working the program.
Ironically, this leads me to the 10th Step, with which I have found myself stuck on…
Chapter Ten, page 92, states:
- Such a radical change in our outlook will take time, maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the remainder—well, we have really disliked or hated them.
- Although these attitudes are common enough, we A.A.’s nd we need something much better in order to keep our balance.
- We can’t stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.
- We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none. With those we dislike we can begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them. Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it—to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would be helpful.
- Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause, saying, “Not my will, but Thine, be done.” And we can often ask ourselves, “Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me—today?”
And continues, “Understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our entire lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these pop up in our lives, we ask God to immediately remove them. We discuss them with our Sponsor or Friend in AA and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.”
So when one of my character defects appears during the day, I don’t have to take action based on that defect. I can begin to practice the 10th Step. And if I do act out on a defect, then Step 10 also gives me the tools to straighten out any harm I might have caused. Once we’ve gone through the process of spotting the defect, asking God to remove it, discussing the problem with someone if necessary, and making amends if we’ve caused a harm the book tells me now to turn my thoughts towards someone that I can be helpful towards. After all, the book does say:
“Love and tolerance of others is our code.”
This takes lots of practice but with God’s help and guidance, it can be done if we work at it. #WorkWorkWork
So, today was pretty incredible. I arrived to my meeting, early, and sat with Brock and Anna and caught up on their lives. We also discussed the cake I’ll be ordering from Costco for my 1 year birthday! Because, who doesn’t love #CostcoCake? Please consider attending on March 15th at noon at The Huddle on Goldfinch, if not for the camaraderie and fellowship, but hello…. CAKE!!
Quick #Assholio update… Status: NIL… #CUT
So I’ve been doing a lot of Big Book reading lately, and have begun to realize that there are new flaws I must work on in my life going into my 2nd year of #sobriety:
- Feeling “just ordinary” or “unheard” and the need to also be too vocal
Some of these new things, ok, all of them, were rather blatantly unseen by myself – of myself.
You see, we all have flaws. But it is how you choose to handle and deal with them is what makes the difference.
Anna brought up #Transformation with me due to all the changes I have made in my health, life and love. This will be next on my agenda to dig deeper into. I believe that for transformation, I must have #tolerance and #respect for others thoughts and feelings as well as keeping abreast of my own, equally.
So wow, yeah, that was windy! So, I must sign off and get that video uploaded.. Therefore…
Amy aka #MotorMouth